UtahBMX.com

Today was payday for my son with a new bunk bed set I promised him over the winter series when I told him if he won a main, he would get one. Anyways, one night lightning struck & he won his 5 & under novice class. Not sure if I can afford big dollar items for carrots but maybe something more low key in the future. I'm not really into bribing my kid into performing but I'm not sure if I have a real problem with it either.

What's your deal with your kids? Do you have a reward plan if they meet a certain goal?

b.

bnd wrote:What's your deal with your kids? Do you have a reward plan if they meet a certain goal?

Good question Bruce. Sorry its taken me over a month to notice your thread. This site truly is dead.

I've never given any specific tangible rewards for bmx wins or any other sport. Other than the nebulous you can clip in a while after you turn intermediate. My wife and I try to praise effort over achievement. We've read some articles and studies that suggest kids who receive praise for effort over achievement become more resilient and harder workers. Not that achievements are bad and shouldn't be praised, but they shouldn't be the center of praise or motivation.

Racing in the novice class is a perfect example of this. Wins in novice are more a measure of who shows up in your class than how your skills are improving. My best races were often the ones where I was battling for second or third. Unless you're Conner Fields there will always be someone faster than you at the track. Its better to focus on measuring improvement against ourselves than comparison to other racers at the track. I'm trying to train my kid's brain to release dopamine for racing faster than ever before, not for crossing the chalk line first. I've noticed a few kids who didn't learn the joy in improving personal performance, kids who advance through novice with ease, racking up their 10 wins fast, move to inter and act devastated each race they don't win and give it up altogether.

Kids need to learn to lose and keep trying. They need to know their self worth is not measured by the number of plastic trophies on the shelf.

We try to focus on specific skills that are easily measurable to praise (i.e. balancing in the gate, learning manual or jump, improving gate snap).

Don't get me wrong when my son gets a win I'm a proud as any dad and its high fives all around. When he fights hard and takes last I try to show a great deal of praise then too.

Anyway Bruce, different strokes for different folks, you know your son best and the right way to motivate him. My tactics might not be right for your family.

I pay my kids for good grades. Why not? We all get paid for performance in the real world.

This site dead? Not really, traffic is good, too many people driving bye or sitting on the fence not posting up.

Good points Logan & let me clarify that I didn't put that bed deal out there as a reward, I kind of painted myself in a corner when Grady was hounding us for a set & one day I just blurted out that if he won a race then he would get one. Not really believing (with his track record) that he would actually win a race, lol.

Usually it's all praise, hugs, ect but sometimes I think a little something more is in order to get the rider to focus or to step up to the occasion.

b.

I was always the opposite.

I'd beat'm if they lost.......