UtahBMX.com Press Release!!!

[J Gallo]

RAD Canyon Issues Press Release

New Rules for Rider to Increase Excitement

West Jordan, UT (UBMX.COM) – Lamenting the severe decline in popularity of the 28-35 Intermediate class, RAD Canyon BMX has issued the following statement:

“In order to increase excitement for our spectators, we have decided to implement some changes to our 28-35 Intermediate class. Due to his inability to make the mains, Jason Gallo will now be allowed to make the following changes:

1. He will be allowed to run a special NOS system, similar to tuner performance vehicles. This can be achieved either intravenously into both legs, or via special “Helmet-Mask” over his nose and mouth.
2. He will be allowed to run “spikes” on both front and rear wheels to attempt to “take-out” his competition, should he ever become fast enough to actually find himself side-by-side with another competitor. These spikes will be similar to those used by that vehicle in the movie Grease, where they were racing in the aqueduct.

We hope that this will create an environment where a rider with such inability will be able to compete with those that have ability, and promote a fun and exciting viewing atmosphere for our spectators.”

Obviously, these changes will be met with some opposition by his fellow riders. We were able to reach 2 prominent local 28-35 riders.

Reached for comment at a local sushi bar, Jason Melton had this to say: “I have no problem with these changes, as long as Mr. Gallo keeps picking up the tab for my Spider rolls.”

Ian Elliot issued this statement when contacted during his weekly duck hunt: “It’s completely ludicrous that these changes are being made. Why should I be penalized just because I can backflip the big double and he can’t? I became fast by training and years of racing, let him do the same.”

Responding to Ian’s statement, Jason Gallo replied simply, “Cough, Cough, Sandbagger.”

Well, only time will tell whether these changes have a positive effect on the racing scene. Can a man with so few BMX skills achieve greatness among the giants of UtahBMX? Stay tuned for further updates……

[JasonStout]

LMAO!!

just clip in dude!!!


JS

Thanks for the laugh!

[J Gallo]

Thanks Stout!

I was hoping SOMEONE would find that funny! Whew!!!